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A new study suggests particular kinds of attachment experiences may cause some adults to avoid long-term relationships.
In the investigation, researchers sought to resolve an ongoing debate on the genesis of ?avoidant attachment.? Psychologists have questioned if the behavior is due to innate personality traits, such as being more of a loner, or is a delayed reaction to unmet childhood needs.
In the study, Tel Aviv University psychologist Dr. Sharon Dekel and?Barry Farber, Ph.D.,?of Columbia University, studied the romantic history of 58 adults, aged 22-28. They found that 22.4 percent of study participants could be categorized as ?avoidant? when it came to their relationships.
The ?avoidant? behavior was characterized by demonstrating anxiety about intimacy, a reluctance to commit to or share with their partner, or a belief that their partner was ?clingy.?
Overall, they reported less personal satisfaction in their relationships than participants who were determined to be secure in their relationships.
Dekel and Farber believe the roots of the commitment reluctance stems from adults trying to meet childhood needs. They found that while both secure and avoidant individuals expressed a desire for intimacy in relationships, avoidant individuals are conflicted about this need due to the complicated parent-child dynamics they experienced when young.
The premise of their study,?Dekel said, is based on attachment theory, which posits that during times of stress, infants seek proximity to their caregivers for emotional support. However, if the parent is unresponsive or overly intrusive, the child learns to avoid their caregiver.
The researchers believe that adult relationships reflect these earlier experiences. That is, when infantile needs are met in childhood, a person approaches adult relationships with more security, seeking intimacy, sharing, caring, and fun,?Dekel said.
This relationship perspective is called a ?two-adult? model, in which participants equally share desires with their partner.
Avoidant individuals, however, are more likely to adopt an ?infant-mother? intimacy model. For this group, when they enter relationships, there is an attempt to satisfy their unmet childhood needs,?Dekel said.
?Avoidant individuals are looking for somebody to validate them, accept them as they are, can consistently meet their needs and remain calm ? including not making a fuss about anything or getting caught up in their own personal issues.?
The tendency to avoid dependence on a partner is a defense mechanism rather than an avoidance of intimacy, she adds.
Researchers believe this is an area that deserves future study as individuals may have problems in obtaining satisfying romantic relationships. As a consequence they are also less happy in their lives and are more likely to suffer illnesses than their secure counterparts,?said Dekel.
Psychologists need a better understanding of what these insecure individuals need, perhaps through more sophisticated neurological studies, she suggests.
There is also the question of whether or not these attachment styles are permanent. Dekel believes that there are some experiences which can help people develop more secure relationship styles.
One clue to this capacity is a study Dekel performed that observed the experience of a traumatic event is often associated with survivors showing a greater ability and desire to form closer relationships.
Source: Tel Aviv University
APA Reference
Nauert PhD, R. (2012). Attachment Style May Factor Into Fear of Commitment. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 12, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/12/11/attachment-style-may-factor-into-fear-of-commitment/48925.html
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By Bruna Nessif, E! Online
Country music fans -- Monday night was your night. The biggest names in country music gathered in Las Vegas for the 2012 American Country Music Awards, hosted by none other than the adorable (and tiny) Kristin Chenoweth, and much taller Trace Adkins.
Here are some highlights from the show and complete winner's list!
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
Singer Luke Bryan poses with his awards during the 2012 American Country Awards at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas on Monday.
Oscar lessons from L.A. Critics Awards
Best Show Open: Welcome to the ACAs, and say hello to the handsome and talented Luke Bryan (and his charming smile and swaying hips). Do we really have to say it? Swoon.
Size Really Does Matter: The massive difference in height between Chenoweth and Adkins proved to be an entertaining factor. Especially when the duo walked out with Trace carrying his cohost in a pink baby sling. Yup, that happened.
Coolest Award: Each winner got a guitar! Yes, a guitar.
Flirt Machine: OK, Kristin Chenoweth, we see you. The li'l lady was flirtin' up a storm with any single guy in the audience. Hey, she told us, she's single?and loving it (despite those Jake Pavelka dating rumors).
Oscar lessons from AFI Awards
Worst Assumption: Guessing who would snag the New Artist of the Year award reminded us you should never assume. Unless your guess is Lauren Alaina. The newbie and "American Idol" runner-up beat out Miranda Lambert's group, Pistol Annies and cutie Hunter Hayes.
Collabo of the Night: Adkins took the stage alongside Southern rock legends Lynyrd Skynyrd!
Best Outfit: Chenoweth had about a million wardrobe changes throughout the night, but her Honey Boo Boo getup (and impersonation) was the best by far.
Worst Let Down: Unfortunately, Carrie Underwood didn't give Rodney Carrington the big smooch he was expecting when he presented her with the Female Artist of the Year award, just a peck on the cheek. So much for those flowers and chocolates.
Oscar buzz cheat sheet
Random Appearance: Why, hello Carmen Electra. Didn't think we'd see you presenting here, but OK. And it's ACAs, not "ACEs," but that's OK, too.
Mark Davis / Getty Images
Singer Carrie Underwood accepts the Female Artist of the Year award onstage during the 2012 American Country Awards.
It's Magic! Although Miranda Lambert would have won Single of the Year by a Female Artist, regardless, it was still cool to see Penn & Teller announce her win through a magic trick.
Check out the ACA Arrivals!
Best (Almost) Spill: Chenoweth was able to (kinda) play off almost falling on stage (a couple times) while performing "What Would Dolly Do." She was just too excited.
New Friends: "American Idol" judge Keith Urban invited young musicians from his Grammy Camp to perform with him onstage, which was both sweet and entertaining.
Holiday Spirit: The show left us with Lady Antebellum singing one of their Christmas jingles, Trace Adkins in an elf costume and Kristin Chenoweth looking like a "holiday hooker." Gotta love this time of year.
Lady Antebellum's Hillary Scott is pregnant!
Here's the complete winner's list from the 2012 American Country Awards:
More Entertainment news:
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Dec. 11, 2012 ? Participating in online social networks can have a detrimental effect on consumer well-being by lowering self-control among certain users, according to a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research.
"Using online social networks can have a positive effect on self-esteem and well-being. However, these increased feelings of self-worth can have a detrimental effect on behavior. Because consumers care about the image they present to close friends, social network use enhances self-esteem in users who are focused on close friends while browsing their social network. This momentary increase in self-esteem leads them to display less self-control after browsing a social network," write authors Keith Wilcox (Columbia University) and Andrew T. Stephen (University of Pittsburgh).
Online social networks are having a fundamental impact on society. Facebook, the largest, has over one billion active users. Does using a social network impact the choices consumers make in their daily lives? If so, what effect does it have on consumer well-being?
A series of interesting studies showed that Facebook usage lowers self-control for consumers who focus on close friends while browsing their social network. Specifically, consumers focused on close friends are more likely to choose an unhealthy snack after browsing Facebook due to enhanced self-esteem. Greater Facebook use was associated with a higher body-mass index, increased binge eating, a lower credit score, and higher levels of credit card debt for consumers with many close friends in their social network.
"These results are concerning given the increased time people spend using social networks, as well as the worldwide proliferation of access to social networks anywhere anytime via smartphones and other gadgets. Given that self-control is important for maintaining social order and personal well-being, this subtle effect could have widespread impact. This is particularly true for adolescents and young adults who are the heaviest users of social networks and have grown up using social networks as a normal part of their daily lives," the authors conclude.
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It is possible to make cheap VOIP calls to India from the USA. However, doing so will require that you use a carrier set up specifically to make these types of calls.
VOIP carriers are ideal for this type of phone call because they use the internet to relay a persons voice in a digitized form.
The fact that the call is made in digital form makes it much cheaper to send because it is essentially being sent as data as opposed to an analog signal.
There are several carriers that you can use to make cheap VIOP calls to India from the USA. However, not all carriers off equivalent levels of service and reliability.
Selecting the right one is paramount to getting cheap and reliable service.
Many VOIP carriers offer a host of services including but not limited to:
The trick is to just get it, and by it, I mean VOIP.
I personally recommend VOIPo.com. VOIPo.com has a ton of features such as:
7, 10, and 11 Digit Dialing, Caller ID w/ Name, Call Waiting w/ ID, Three Way Calling, Call Forwarding, Call Blocking, Do Not Disturb, *67 Outbound Caller ID Blocking, *69 Call Return, Transfer In Your, Current Number, Choose Your Own Area Code, Keep Your Number If You Move, California-Based Tech Support, Portable VoIP Device, Softphone Access, e911 Service, 711 Service, 411 Directory Assistance, Custom Incoming Caller ID, Contacts List, Online Call Logs, Unlimited Speed Dial, Advanced Voicemail, View Voicemails Online, Voicemails E-Mailed, Voicemail SMS Notifications, Distinctive Ringtones, Virtual Numbers, Virtual Number Voicemail Boxes, Network Failover Forwarding, Custom Inbound Call Routing, Custom Outbound Call Routing, Inbound SIP Address Routing, Outbound SIP Address Routing, Simultaneous Ring, Control Features by SMS
If you?re looking to make cheap VOIP calls to India from the USA, then VOIPo.com is probably your best and most versatile bet.
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Photograph by Alexander Gardner/Library of Congress.
In Hollywood, at least, Lincoln?s reputation as the Great Emancipator is safe and sound. Earlier this year, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter presented a man who ?fought a war for the soul of the country? against the ?demon of slavery.? Steven Spielberg?s Lincoln is a tireless warrior pushing for passage of the 13th Amendment, which would forever abolish slavery in the United States. In a high-pitched drawl that captures the sound of Lincoln?s voice as described by contemporaries, Daniel Day-Lewis declares, ?Abolishing slavery settles the fate for millions now in bondage and unborn millions to come.?
But if Hollywood?s Lincoln is on the side of the angels, in historical circles his reputation has fared less well. The flashpoint for debate is not the 13th Amendment, but the Emancipation Proclamation, which was unprecedented in its assault on slavery, but did not abolish the institution. Though Democrats shrieked that the proclamation went too far, many of Lincoln?s Republican supporters believed it did not go far enough?and there have been historians ever since who have agreed. There were sound reasons, however, for why the document emerged as it did, and indeed it was Lincoln?s recognition of its limitations that led him to seek a more definitive measure. His efforts to secure passage of the 13th Amendment, the central drama of Lincoln, cannot be understood without the backstory of his gradual move toward emancipation.?? ???
Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation in September 1862. The decree announced that on Jan. 1, 1863, three months away, he would free the slaves in Confederate areas still in rebellion. The loyal slave states of Delaware, Maryland, Missouri, and Kentucky would not be affected, nor would designated rebel areas under Union control.
In 2011, at the unveiling of a rare signed copy of the proclamation, President Obama imagined how today?s cynical political commentators might headline a story announcing the proclamation: ?Think about it, ?Lincoln sells out slaves.? ? Indeed, some said as much in 1862: ?The president can do nothing for freedom in a direct manner, but only by circumlocution and delay,? howled the abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison.
The criticisms have continued ever since. In his classic work The American Political Tradition (1948), historian Richard Hofstadter condemned the document as having ?had all the moral grandeur of a bill of lading.? During the civil rights era, dismayed by the lack of progress for blacks, writers such as Ebony executive editor Lerone Bennett denounced Lincoln as a racist who never made the slaves? interests paramount and instead envisioned a white America cleansed of blacks.
Lincoln?s reputation slipped farther in the 1990s as scholars such as Ira Berlin and his colleagues at the Freedmen and Southern Society Project re-examined the question ?who freed the slaves?? They argued that, in fleeing to Union lines, the slaves altered military policy by compelling generals to make a decision about what to do with runaways. In effect, they forced themselves onto Lincoln?s agenda; the enslaved freed themselves.
More recently, libertarians, reviving a strain of criticism that dates to the Civil War, have denounced Lincoln as a dictator whose paramount goal was to centralize power. The economist Thomas DiLorenzo, for example, has labeled the Emancipation Proclamation ?little more than a political gimmick.? For libertarians, Lincoln took every opportunity to exercise executive power and create a centralized, bureaucratic state. According to this view, he did not care about emancipation but merely used the decree to stabilize his Republican base and bash his opponents.
Under this barrage of condemnation on several fronts, Lincoln the Emancipator has shrunk in some circles to Lincoln the Equivocator; and the Emancipation Proclamation itself, is seldom read and often misunderstood. This is shameful. Lincoln?s actions against slavery constituted the most heroic undertaken by any president to eradicate a social evil. That he did so methodically and deliberately, without flourishes or grand but empty gestures, at a time when a misstep might have cost the life of the nation itself, makes the achievement all the more remarkable.
Still, it is worth asking what took Lincoln so long to act. There is no doubt that he opposed slavery: ?I am naturally anti-slavery. If slavery is not wrong nothing is wrong. I can not remember when I did not so think and feel. And yet I have never understood that the presidency conferred upon me an unrestricted right to act officially upon this judgment and feeling.? he wrote in 1864. But he also understood what every leader must acknowledge: Ideals are one matter, politics another.
Because he subscribed to the widespread view that slavery in the states was constitutionally protected, Lincoln knew he could not move against the institution without violating his oath of office. Even if this obstacle hadn?t existed, a direct assault on slavery early in the Civil War would have had disastrous consequences for the war effort by deeply dividing the North, where opposition to emancipation was strong in some quarters (as Lincoln does a good of portraying), and by provoking the border slave states to secede. (?To lose Kentucky is nearly the same as to lose the whole game,? he said nearly a year to the day before issuing the preliminary proclamation.) Before he could act, he would have to develop a constitutional rationale for emancipation, to ensure that northern public opinion was prepared to sustain him and that the border states could be held in the Union.
Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=63d89124136165fbf01b22ff1867b87e
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LONDON (Reuters) - A former oil executive was named leader of the world's 80 million Anglicans on Friday, ending months of closed-door negotiations as the church struggles with bitter rifts over senior women clergy and homosexuality.
Justin Welby, 56, who has been bishop of the northern English city of Durham for barely a year, will replace incumbent Rowan Williams in December.
He is widely regarded as an opponent of gay marriage but in favour of the ordination of women as bishops, two of the most divisive issues facing the Church.
Welby's appointment as the 105th Archbishop of Canterbury caps a meteoric rise in the Church of England hierarchy since he quit the oil business world and was ordained in 1992.
The bespectacled and soft-spoken Welby accepted the appointment at London's Lambeth Palace, the official London residence of the Archbishop of Canterbury for 800 years.
"My initial reaction was, 'oh no'," a smiling Welby told reporters in a wood-vaulted room adorned with portraits of former archbishops and gold chandeliers.
"It's something I never expected. And the last few weeks have been a rather strange experience, to put it mildly."
The long-awaited appointment, announced by Prime Minister David Cameron's office, follows weeks of intense speculation that a row over whether to choose a reformer or a safe pair of hands had stalled the nomination process.
"Well this is the best kept secret since the last cabinet reshuffle," Welby told an audience that included his wife, five children and a baby grand-daughter, after opening his address with a brief prayer.
"It's exciting because I believe that we are at one of those rare points where the tide of events is turning and the church ... has great opportunities to match its very great but often hidden strength."
Welby - who trained as a priest after the death of his infant daughter in a car crash - is likely to come under intense pressure to prevent the Anglican church tearing itself apart over women bishops and gay rights.
Liberal church leaders in the United States and Britain are at odds with more conservative figures in Africa and elsewhere.
"What the church does here deeply affects the already greatly suffering churches in places ... like Nigeria," Welby said.
Williams once famously warned that his successor would need the "constitution of an ox and the skin of a rhinoceros". Commentators say Welby's experience of tough negotiation and deal-making in business will stand him in good stead.
(Writing by Maria Golovnina; editing by Andrew Roche)
Source: http://news.yahoo.com/britain-names-ex-oilman-archbishop-canterbury-110102495.html
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